Q: What events/classes does RockPointe offer to married couples?
A: RPC will offer a variety of opportunities for couples including marriage conferences, classes (on campus, in host homes, and online), sermons, couples small groups, and web info. Check the website regularly to see new opportunities. Also, information will appear on the Sunday bulletins, social media (Facebook/Twitter) and in some local media.
Q: Is conflict in our marriage normal?
A: A red flag goes up when we hear a couple never has conflict. This typically means there is some major avoidance of issues and one day someone will explode or worse, suddenly and unexpectedly decide they want out of the marriage. Conflict is normal and can actually be healthy for a married couple. Opposing opinions keep us open-minded and sharp. The problems arise when a couple doesn’t know how to handle conflict. We like to say that the absence of conflict doesn’t make a healthy relationship – rather, how you handle conflict determines the health of your marriage. If you are experiencing poor conflict resolution, there are excellent resources for you including books, videos, classes and conferences. A list of good resources is available here.
Q: What one thing can we do in our marriage to see the most growth and improvement in our relationship?
A: Learn to pray together as a couple regularly. This one thing can absolutely transform your marriage. The transparency and vulnerability experienced when a couple comes before God is the closest form of intimacy which leads to intimacy in all other areas. Try it – it may be awkward for you at first, but you’ll grow to love the benefits. If you’ve never done this together, begin with a simple prayer like, “God, thank you for my wife. Bless her and protect her.” And, “Lord, thank you for my husband. Please watch over him and guard him from harm.” Amen.
Q: My spouse won’t come to classes or read enrichment books with me. What can I do?
A: While this is an extremely frustrating situation, it is not without hope. Rather than nag, beg, or plead with your spouse, make the opportunities known, then leave it alone. Your greatest hope lies in your prayer life. Ask God to help you be the very best husband or wife that you can be. Work on the things that will draw you closer in relationship to God and leave the changes in your spouse to Him. Scripture tells us that this is winsome to others and can actually draw your spouse in. Have faith in the Holy Spirit.
Q: What do I do if my marriage is struggling?
A: Take every advantage possible of opportunities available through RPC. If you are both wanting to make improvements, seek counsel from another trusted couple who have a healthy marriage. Ask them if they will be your “mentors” and walk with you through a difficult time. Other options are to contact Brian & Edie Sanders and/or the pastoral staff of RPC or go straight to a professional counselor. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help – that is the wisest thing you can do when you have struggles that are difficult to navigate on your own. Our recommended marriage counselors are listed here.