Even If It’s Just to Speak Your Name

It had been a long, trying three-day weekend. A beloved family pet crossed the rainbow bridge, and I was heartbroken and exhausted from the endless stream of tears rolling down my face for several days. Yet, life must go on and I had to drive to Uptown Dallas on a busy morning for a one-day conference. Traffic is not my friend. I thoroughly enjoy being able to work from my cozy home office without having to drive to work every morning. But, nonetheless, here I was. To make matters worse, I was driving my husband’s truck so he could play chauffeur to our kids for the day. Why is driving my husband’s truck a bad thing? He has a broken radio antenna. So, in addition to driving in traffic, I also had to do so without being able to listen to my favorite morning radio show. My day was not off to a great start.

Flashback to November 2021 when my husband and I attended a marriage conference known as Weekend to Remember. One of the keynote speakers was Matt Hammitt, the former lead singer of Sanctus Real, most notably recognized for the song “Lead Me.” It was an incredible weekend of reconnection and growth for our marriage and my husband enjoyed listening to Matt during the sessions. “Lead Me” was a very popular song early in our marriage, so with our wedding anniversary coming up, I purchased my husband the “Best of Sanctus Real” CD which included the popular song. Because the only CD players we have are in our cars, the CD made its way to my husband’s truck.

Traffic. Broken antenna. No radio. CD from over a year ago. Do you see where this is going?

Let’s fast forward back to my radio-less, morning drive when I hit play on the CD option without knowing which CD was in there. The all-familiar songs of Sanctus Real started playing through the speakers. We have listened to this CD hundreds of times over the course of the past year, as there aren’t many other options in the truck. However, on this drive, a song came on, that even though I’ve heard it countless times, struck me differently that morning. I tuned into every word. And eventually listened to the song on repeat until I reached my destination almost an hour later.

God’s plan and timing are perfect considering that our church emphasis for the year is prayer. The words to the song (below) rang louder and truer than ever before, especially after a rough weekend.

Despite my broken heart and inability to know what to do or say or even what to pray to God, this song reminded me of the importance to pray, even if it is just to speak His name.

Pray (Sanctus Real)
I bow my head to pray
I don’t know what to say
I’m not sure how to fix
The things I’m dealing with

I’m in a desperate place
I need to share the weight, but I just don’t know how
To let it all pour out

Though I’m silent
My heart is crying
Cause I was made to come to you

So I pray
God I need you more than words can say
Right here in this moment

You know my heart
You know my need
You know every part of me
So even if it’s just to speak your name
I’m gonna pray

I fail to find the time
But you’ve been calling now
I let the days go by
As if I could live without, but it’s gotta be hearing now

I won’t be poured away
Cause it’s just you and I
So let the world around us fade
As I pray

God I need you more than words can say
Right here in this moment
You know my heart
You know my need
You know every part of me
So even if it’s just to speak your name
I’m gonna pray
I’m gonna pray

Father…
I’m in a desperate place
Father…
I know you can bear the weight
Father…
Take me in your arms
As I speak your name

I lift my hands and pray
I lift my hands and pray

You know my heart
You know my need
And every single part of me
So even if it’s just to speak your name
I’m gonna pray (You know my heart, you know my need, you know every part of me)
I’m gonna pray (All the words, you are my life, take it as an offering)
You know my heart, you know my need, you know every part of me
All the words, you are my life, take it as an offering