Unity in Relationships

In one way or another, we are all part of a relationship, whether it be family, coworkers, friends, or our community. From the very beginning of creation, relationships existed:

Then God said, “Let US make man in our image, after our likeness…So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
– Genesis 1:26-27 (emphasis added)

“Us” in the scripture above references the Holy Trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit. God himself resides in community. Being designed in God’s own image, we are created for community and relationships.

One important factor in relationships is unity. God does not desire us to have division among each other. He desires unity. In his letter to the church at Ephesus, Paul begs his readers to lead a life worthy of their calling and to make every effort to keep themselves united in the Spirit, binding themselves together with peace. Paul goes on to write, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Many years ago, I was in a broken relationship. I was not making every effort to be united in the relationship, much less have peace with the person. I was angry. I was bitter. I was unforgiving. I wanted out. Despite having been in the relationship for more than 14 years, I was done. At a complete loss for what to do, I hit my knees. At first, my conversations with God weren’t really conversations at all. They were demands of God to change the person and “fix” them. Only then would I be willing to allow the relationship to continue. After all, in my mind, they were the one who were sinning, the one who was causing me to hurt, and the one who needed to change. Not me. I felt like I had invested and given all I had in the relationship. It was their turn to do their part. Not mine.

But God, being God, didn’t “fix” or change them. Guess who He changed? Me. Yep. I didn’t see that one coming. Through much prayer and petition with God, He revealed to me my self-righteousness, my unrepentant heart, and my bitterness. I wasn’t living according to Paul’s words. I wasn’t being kind, I wasn’t being tenderhearted, and I wasn’t forgiving. I was bitter and I was content in my bitterness. That was until God revealed to me my sin that I had been turning a blind eye to for far too long. Did you know bitterness is a sin? I certainly didn’t until God gently pointed out the words in James 3:14-18:

“But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

Ouch.

I hit my knees again. This time begging the Lord to forgive me for my sinful heart, my selfishness, the bitterness I had been holding on to for years, and my failure to be living a life that represented Christ. Through my prayers, I was changed. Then, my relationship was able to be restored and is continuing to thrive…going on 20+ years now. Praise be to God.

No matter what type of relationship you are in, pray for and seek unity in the relationship. If you are struggling with unforgiveness and bitterness, ask the Lord to release you from it and forgive others as Christ has forgiven you. God did not create us to live life outside of relationships. So, we need to be intentional in every relationship God has placed us in, for our good and for His glory.

Written by R. Taylor (RPC Creative Team)

Looking for ways to be intentional in your relationships? Text UNITY to 97891 for daily encouragement and tips.